It is a tribute to the human spirit that there are individuals who survive their narcissistic families---mothers, fathers, siblings, in-laws, etc. This is remarkable and these individuals deserve our deepest respect. As children they never fit into the family tableau---that elaborate picture of a perfect family. The reason they didn't fit in was because they were genuine and unwilling to be possessed and controlled by members of their narcissistic family. Many of these brave human beings realized as children that something was wrong with their family. Some blamed themselves at first an then recognized that they were being raised by a very disturbed family. There was no freedom of thought, no room for humor, no respect for your perceptions and creative ideas. Each day was like a sentence at military boot camp.All rules had to be obeyed regardless of how punitive or irrational they were. The purpose of these cast iron family laws is to break down the individuality of each family member. Children who survive these horrendous backgrounds often find ingenious ways to survive. Many of them spend long periods of time at the homes of their friends. They limit their time at home. Some find some solace in their rooms where they can shut out the irrational chaos of their narcissistic family members.
Those who are good students find a way to leave these pathological families as early as possible by gaining access to fine higher educations through scholarships. Many of them never return home again. The place where they lived was never a real home---It was a place to exist---a psychological prison.
When many of these children grow up they bear the scars of their psychological pain of growing up in these highly disturbed families. Some of them find tremendous help in quality psychotherapy. Others develop solid relationships with friends whom they can trust --this is a source of great validation and a sense of being cared about deeply. We honor and celebrate all of those who have escaped their narcissistic families to lead a free victorious life. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
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